Many things happen to us everyday. Some things matter and some things don’t. We live in a messy world and by the very nature of interacting with others we will be exposed to a vast range of experiences. I believe that life brings us situations that give us an opportunity to learn. Now some things that happen in our day to day lives are not about us and are really just neutral events. Sure, our reaction to this things can provide a chance to learn something but I think it’s more important to consider the “big things” that happen.

I’m talking about those situations that evoke strong emotions of some sort. Whether it be happiness, sadness, anger or confusion, if you’re feeling something then you’ve likely encountered a “learning point”. Now the important thing to realize is that when these situations occur, you need to look deeper into it and figure out what you can/should learn from this. This is especially true when the situation does not seem to be unfolding as you planned despite your best efforts. In these cases, it’s quite likely that there’s a lesson you need to learn to move forward in your life and, even if you had some magical guide that told you what the lesson is, you’d still need to experience it, live it to really understand.

So, in an effort to help myself grow and learn in these situations, I’ve been trying the following steps:

  1. Examine the situation objectively – put your feelings away for a bit and look at a given situation through the eyes of a neutral observer. Try to consider how it looks to those who are not involved.
  2. Explore your feelings – take some time to sit quietly and really consider why you feel the way you do. Is it because things are not going as you’d like them to? Do you carry some underlying belief that is preventing you from seeing the truth?
  3. Recognize the opportunity – even if things don’t work out as you’d like them to, every situation is an opportunity for growth. In fact, we often grow faster and stronger from those life events that don’t turn out as we’d like.
  4. Accept the lesson – unless you plan on isolating yourself from humanity, you’re going to experience learning points. Keep yourself open to these learning points and embrace the growth that occurs.

Change happens whether we like it or not. Refusing to accept and embrace change leads to a life where you go through the motions but never seem to get anywhere. It’s like a hamster running on a wheel. Always going around, never getting anywhere. Step off the wheel, live a little, accept that you’ll fail or get hurt, pick yourself up and carry on.

Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn – Robert Kiyosaki

- Dave