Reach For The Top

There is a time to be born,
There is a time to die -
Between these times,
Lives you and I.

What you shall do,
What you shall be -
It’s up to you,
And not to me.

For greatness comes,
With work and strain -
Heartaches, sadness,
Disappointments and pain.

‘Tis they who put forth
Full effort in the struggle -
Who reach the top,
And break the bubble.

Eddie Witwicki (1927 – 2004)

What Are Affirmations?

So what exactly are affirmations? Affirmations are positive, present tense, specific statements that are repeated to oneself regularly. The idea is that the subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between fact and fiction. It’s sort of like the “fake it ’til you make it“  principle. As mentioned, affirmations should be present tense. Stating things that you’d like to see in the future tends to convince the subconscious mind that you should not have those things now. Affirmations should also use positive wording and descriptive emotional adjectives such as confidently and joyfully. The subconscious mind cannot distinguish between positive and negative statements. Lastly, affirmations should be specific. Affirming for something vague like more money or being happy is akin to wishing and does not provide clear direction for the subconscious mind to act upon.

So, for example, if you would like to use an affirmation to get out of debt, you’d want a positive statement such as “I confidently enjoy a positive net worth in excess of $100,000″ instead of something like “I am joyfully debt-free and pay all my bills in full and on time”. Even though both may seem positive, the second one still subtly focuses on debts and bills while the first one focuses on abundance. Most importantly though, your affirmation needs to be somewhat believable to yourself. Trying to affirm a billion dollars for yourself when you’re in debt probably won’t work so well.

How Do You Use Affirmations?

Typically, you should use affirmations for a period of at least 30 days to cement them into your mind. Thirty days is generally recognized as the period of time needed to form a habit although, depending on who you talk to, you may be able to get away with as little as 21 days or it may take longer. One key thing to keep in mind is that you need to repeat your affirmations daily. Apparently, in a NASA study done on the ability of the eye to adjust to adverse conditions, a group of astronauts were required to wear glasses that inverted their vision. The study found that after 25-30 days, the astronauts’ brains would adjust the incoming signal so that everything appeared normal despite the inversion effect of the glasses. Even more interesting, they also found that if the glasses were not worn for even a single day in the 30 day “adjustment” period, the process was reset. That is, they had to do 30 days consistently without exception or all progress was lost.

Some people will recommend that you use your affirmations upon waking and just before going to sleep as this is when the mind is most receptive to suggestion. Personally, I state my affirmations at the same time that I watch my Mind Movies in the morning and evening.

Another consideration is whether it’s sufficient to state your affirmations in your mind or if you need to state them out loud. I normally state my affirmations internally only since my dogs get all bent out of shape if I speak when it’s quiet in the house; they seem to think I have something for them. However, if you can state them out loud, I suspect this is preferable as you’ll be getting the message of the affirmation through two channels instead of just one.

Another technique that can be used is writing out your affirmations by hand much like doing lines in school. Or, you can write out your affirmations on 3×5 cards which can be carried with you and read (out loud) whenever you get a moment. I’ve tried this during my Midday Timeouts but find it a bit awkward in public places. Still, this may be a useful technique if you can use it.

Complementary Techniques

Affirmations are similar to, and can be used in conjunction with, a vision board. Although I haven’t created a full-fledged vision board myself, I have made a bit of a vision board around my affirmations. They can also be used with visualization and/or meditation. I have not tried either so I can’t really say whether it helps or not.

Keep ‘Em Fresh

I’ve been using one core affirmation for the past 40 days and I’ve definitely seen results. However, it occurred to me today that maybe I need to switch things up a bit. My current core affirmation is seeming a bit stale and it’s become difficult for me to work up the associated positive emotions that help power it. So, I’m going to try a variation for the next 30 days and see how that works out.

In addition to my core affirmation that I have been focusing on, I have several additional affirmations that I try to use regularly. I have found that having too many affirmations tends to dilute my focus but you may want to have a few instead of just one. You could develop an affirmation for each of the areas of your life that you wish to work on. For myself, I have one specific area that seems to need more work than the others so I’ve concentrated on that.

Finally, you may wonder whether you should share your affirmations with others. You may have noticed that I have not shared my current affirmation. Personally, I prefer to keep them to myself since my affirmations tend to be very specific and somewhat of a stretch for me. You may wish to share them with those you trust and who are close to you but I’d say don’t make them public. If you really need to share with the world, restate your affirmations as goals/plans and share those instead. Of course, if you’re affirming out loud it may be a good idea to let your loved ones know what you’re doing so they don’t think you’re crazy.

Have you tried affirmations? Have they worked well? Or not so much? Let me know what you think.

- Dave

Lately, I’ve been finding myself focusing on the details a little too much and it’s causing me to lose sight of the big picture. This actually came to me while I was doing dishes. How ironic since I find there’s nothing more mundane and “small focus” than daily chores. Of course, these things need to be done but the key is not to get lost in them.

Levels of Focus

I see there being four broad levels of focus in life:

1. Daily “maintenance” tasks : most obviously, these are things like dishes, laundry and cooking. But I also include less obvious things such as the daily commute and status meetings at work.
2. Goals : these are the immediate actions you need to take to improve your life such as daily exercise, meditation, self-development reading and recreation (yes, I’m saying recreation is a worthwhile goal).
3. Dreams : these are the bigger picture things that you derive your goals from. Time-wise, they may be near term (90 days) or longer distance (5 years) but overall, they represent a milestone that makes your life better. This level includes such things as being healthy, having financial freedom and doing something difficult like rock climbing the Eternal Flame route up the Nameless Tower.
4. Life Purpose : this is what you long for and strive towards. It gives meaning to your existence.

Each level supports the level above while, ideally, deriving context from that level. So, your daily tasks are done to allow you to work on your goals which give progress towards your dreams which ultimately fulfill your life purpose. There’s much to be said on the details of each level but I’ll save that for future posts. Today I want deal with techniques for keeping yourself mindful of the higher levels of focus while dealing with the lower levels.

Techniques

I use a variety of techniques to keep things in perspective. All of them require time and that seems to be the thing in short supply when you lose sight of the higher levels. I really have to wonder if lack of time is a cause or effect of this short-sightedness. Anyway, here’s some of the things I do:

• Morning Meditation : I like to spend at least a half hour in the morning working on my mental state. I use a variety of different activities here including Mind Movies, meditating, reading, stating affirmations and quiet contemplation. Whatever activities you choose to use, the key is to mentally see and emotionally feel the power of living your life purpose. Then, let these images and feelings trickle down and infuse your dreams with energy.
• Bedtime Journaling : I end my day off by writing in my journal about how my day went, successes I experienced, written affirmations and anything interesting that happened. I generally exclude anything negative as that’s not something I want to pay attention to right before sleeping. This helps put perspective on my day and remind me of the bigger picture.
• Midday Timeouts : These are just quick 5 minute periods where I extract myself from daily living and enjoy some quiet contemplation. On the weekends, I’ll go find an empty room or step outside and listen to an uplifting song. During the week I’ll go for a quick walk around my office building or go hide in a bathroom stall (kind of strange, I know, but it works). This keeps me from drowning in the deluge of daily “stuff” that flows my way and allows me to remember that there’s a higher purpose to my actions.
• Mobile Motivation : Whenever I’m engaged in solo level one tasks, I put on my headphones and listen to either great tunes or motivational audiobooks. If I’m mentally alert and/or doing a task that doesn’t take much of my attention I’ll choose audiobooks otherwise I’ll use good music. This helps keep me from being negative about the activity I’m doing and puts me in a better state of mind.

Overall, I find the morning and bedtime activities are important and I strive to do them regularly while the timeouts and mobile listening are good maintenance techniques. I find it interesting that I’ve been staying up late this past week which has led to me sleeping later (never scrimp on sleep, that’s bad) which has led to my morning routine being shortened and I’ve really noticed the difference. It’s been hard to keep perspective on my dreams.

Give some of these techniques a try and let me know how it works out for you. Or, if you have some techniques of your own that you’d like to share, I’d love to hear about them. Stay focused my friend.

- Dave

End Of The Day

My daily work has come to pass,
And tell me, Lord, if I may ask -
Today has now come to an end,
Did I take from it all I can?

This day no longer will come to me,
It’s gone, it’s passed, no more to be -
For what I missed and did not do,
With all that time I wasted too.

I promise that this is the end,
And starting now, I will begin
To start each day off with a plan,
And carry it out to the end.

To make each hour of the day
A followed plan where I can say,
No wasted time has passed me by -
I’m organized, now I will fly!

- Edward Witwicki

As a rule, I try not to regret past choices. I choose to believe that the current state of my life is a result of those choices, both good and bad, and while I may not be totally satisfied with my current state, I’m generally happy with the way things have gone. Keep in mind that if you’re totally satisfied with your current life then you have no reason to change/grow and that leads to stagnation.

So how do you break out of the cycle of mulling over past choices? What can you do to look forward instead of back?

1. First and foremost, you can’t change the past. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make it different. Sure, you can try and make amends but that doesn’t change the original choice.
2. Remember that even if a choice you made turned out totally wrong (from your perspective), at the very least you learned something. You might have to spend some time trying to determine what you learned but it’s there, keep looking.
3. Consider that maybe the choice you made was actually the right choice given the context of the situation. It’s quite possible that you weren’t ready to handle the demands of a given situation and would have found yourself feeling worse than you do now.
4. Check if it’s possible to make that choice again. Some opportunities do come around more than once. Say you turned down a job (or chose not to even apply). Check with the company again. It’s quite possible that the person they did hire is not working out or that they have an even better opportunity now.

It’s important to remember that life is a journey. We can choose to get stuck living in the past, always wondering “what if” or we can choose to live in the now, accepting the choices we have made and looking forward to the magnificent experiences yet to come.

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I’m talking about those situations that evoke strong emotions of some sort. Whether it be happiness, sadness, anger or confusion, if you’re feeling something then you’ve likely encountered a “learning point”. Now the important thing to realize is that when these situations occur, you need to look deeper into it and figure out what you can/should learn from this. This is especially true when the situation does not seem to be unfolding as you planned despite your best efforts. In these cases, it’s quite likely that there’s a lesson you need to learn to move forward in your life and, even if you had some magical guide that told you what the lesson is, you’d still need to experience it, live it to really understand.

So, in an effort to help myself grow and learn in these situations, I’ve been trying the following steps:

1. Examine the situation objectively – put your feelings away for a bit and look at a given situation through the eyes of a neutral observer. Try to consider how it looks to those who are not involved.
2. Explore your feelings – take some time to sit quietly and really consider why you feel the way you do. Is it because things are not going as you’d like them to? Do you carry some underlying belief that is preventing you from seeing the truth?
3. Recognize the opportunity – even if things don’t work out as you’d like them to, every situation is an opportunity for growth. In fact, we often grow faster and stronger from those life events that don’t turn out as we’d like.
4. Accept the lesson – unless you plan on isolating yourself from humanity, you’re going to experience learning points. Keep yourself open to these learning points and embrace the growth that occurs.

Change happens whether we like it or not. Refusing to accept and embrace change leads to a life where you go through the motions but never seem to get anywhere. It’s like a hamster running on a wheel. Always going around, never getting anywhere. Step off the wheel, live a little, accept that you’ll fail or get hurt, pick yourself up and carry on.

Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn – Robert Kiyosaki

- Dave

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

These words are most often attributed to Nelson Mandela in his 1994 Inaugural speech. Apparently they are actually by author Marianne Williamson in her book A Return To Love. Regardless of the source, this wonderful message reminds us that we have within us the power to achieve anything. We merely need to let it loose and give ourselves permission to experience the greatness within.

- Dave

1. Music – this one is a no-brainer for me since I spend a significant portion of my day enjoying music anyway, but it’s definitely helped. Choose music that lifts you up, gets your blood pumping and makes your heart sing (and maybe your mouth too). This is especially helpful during the commute when a bunch of little annoyances can quickly sour your entire day.
2. Smile – keep a smile on your face as much as possible. Not only will your mood improve but people around you will feel a little better too. After all, a smile is even more contagious than the swine flu!
3. Start Great – I spend at least 20 minutes every morning reading motivational books (like the one mentioned above) and it’s been fabulously helpful in getting my day going. Also try to get up with plenty of time to spare. Easing into your day in a relaxed manner starts you off on a positive note.
4. Socialize – take time to have coffee with your friends. Make sure you have a good lunch and get away from your desk (again, with your friends). Too much time alone tends to make you look inward and if you’re in a negative environment, it won’t be long before you’re attitude goes bad.

These are just a few suggestions on gaining and maintaining a positive attitude. I’m sure there are many other methods out there. The key is to find what works for you and stick with it even when things don’t go smoothly. So remember, stay positive and keep smiling!

- Dave