DaveWitwicki.com

I watched Yes Man with Jim Carrey last night. I really enjoyed the movie and recommend it. It did get me thinking though. Besides the obvious personal growth theme of the movie which I think is awesome. There were a couple other things that stood out for me.

Say Yes

First, let’s consider the main theme: saying yes to life’s opportunities. I think we can all use a reminder of this. It’s very easy to get caught up in the daily routine and shy away from anything that deviates from said routine. If you know anything about personal growth, you know that’s a bad thing. Change is good, it’s important, and it’s absolutely necessary for growth. Enough said.

You Can’t Audit Life

At one point early on, Carl (the main character) finds himself at a personal development seminar. Although the movie pokes fun at PD seminars in general, there was one line that really stood out for me. Carl, in trying to avoid attention claims that he’s “just auditing the course” to which the guru responds “You can’t audit life”. That is so true! There is no practice run, there is no do over, there is no “I’ll get it right next time” option. You are living your real life each and every day and you need to participate in that life.

Use Your Head

[Spoiler Warning]
Later on in the movie when the inevitable problems occur, Carl confronts the guru who tells him that he shouldn’t take the whole thing too seriously.
[/Spoiler Warning]

As with all growth opportunities in life, you need to use your head and consider how best to make any piece of advice work for you. It’s easy to get caught up in following someone else’s system. Everyone has good advice on what worked for them and it’s oh so tempting to do what they did with the hope that you’ll get the same results they did. Plain and simple, it doesn’t work that way. No matter how hard someone tries to capture the essence of their process, they will miss some of the bits that made the process work for them. We’re all unique individuals and no one system will work for everyone (or even anyone else).

Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try someone else’s system. But do it wisely. Try it out, then take the pieces that work for you and incorporate them into your life. For the parts that don’t seem to get you results, leave them be. Keep in mind that you may need to try something for awhile before you can be sure it doesn’t work for you. Personal growth is uncomfortable and you will struggle with change. Just try to be aware of the difference between persevering for the sake of growth and wasting your time on useless action.

Bottom Line

Growth is hard. It’s so much easier to sit around and watch TV instead of working towards your dreams (you have dreams, don’t you?) but the only thing sitting around leads to is more sitting around. To live the life of your dreams, you need to say yes to the opportunities life presents and then you need to take action. What action are you taking today?

- Dave

I have hundreds of these index card sized bookmarks that my dad had printed years ago. They’re blue and have a poem he wrote in 1972. On the back they have a little song that he used to motivate his sales team at the time. I’ll leave the song alone since I rarely look at it myself, but here is the poem:

End Of The Day

My daily work has come to pass,
And tell me, Lord, if I may ask -
Today has now come to an end,
Did I take from it all I can?

This day no longer will come to me,
It’s gone, it’s passed, no more to be -
For what I missed and did not do,
With all that time I wasted too.

I promise that this is the end,
And starting now, I will begin
To start each day off with a plan,
And carry it out to the end.

To make each hour of the day
A followed plan where I can say,
No wasted time has passed me by -
I’m organized, now I will fly!

- Edward Witwicki

Lately I’ve found myself ruminating on past choices I’ve made. It’s easy to get lost in the mental maze of “what if”. What if I’d taken that job, what if I hadn’t said that, what if I’d been more active in X. These lines of thinking can really sap your motivation. Especially since we generally don’t consider the positive choices, only the seemingly negative ones.

As a rule, I try not to regret past choices. I choose to believe that the current state of my life is a result of those choices, both good and bad, and while I may not be totally satisfied with my current state, I’m generally happy with the way things have gone. Keep in mind that if you’re totally satisfied with your current life then you have no reason to change/grow and that leads to stagnation.

So how do you break out of the cycle of mulling over past choices? What can you do to look forward instead of back?

1. First and foremost, you can’t change the past. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make it different. Sure, you can try and make amends but that doesn’t change the original choice.
2. Remember that even if a choice you made turned out totally wrong (from your perspective), at the very least you learned something. You might have to spend some time trying to determine what you learned but it’s there, keep looking.
3. Consider that maybe the choice you made was actually the right choice given the context of the situation. It’s quite possible that you weren’t ready to handle the demands of a given situation and would have found yourself feeling worse than you do now.
4. Check if it’s possible to make that choice again. Some opportunities do come around more than once. Say you turned down a job (or chose not to even apply). Check with the company again. It’s quite possible that the person they did hire is not working out or that they have an even better opportunity now.

It’s important to remember that life is a journey. We can choose to get stuck living in the past, always wondering “what if” or we can choose to live in the now, accepting the choices we have made and looking forward to the magnificent experiences yet to come.

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

In the spirit of Father’s day, I have a story for you (with a piece of advice at the end). My father passed away 5 years ago this month after a lengthy illness during which he was bedridden, unable to speak and not entirely coherent most of the time. The illness started with a nasty fall and rapidly went from bad to worse. Even the good days weren’t so good.

Growing up, my dad was not around much. He was self-employed and trying to make his “fortune” in one failed venture after another. He typically worked 12-16 hour days interspersed with weeks on the road where he wasn’t home at all. When he was around, he was busy doing upkeep on the house or working on his latest business. As such, he didn’t spend much time with me and by the age of 11, I figured he wouldn’t notice/care if I wasn’t around so I ran away from home. I was gone for three days before the clerk at the local 7-11 ratted me out and my dad came and brought me back home. Thankfully, that was the wakeup call he needed and our entire relationship changed. After that we spent more time together and the rest of my teen years produced many fond memories of late night card games and “talks” about everything a teenage boy could possibly want to know.

In my grade 12 year, my dad became rather ill and nearly died. Luckily, his sister came and practically dragged him to the hospital so he survived (minus some body parts and with a lifetime “condition”). Once again, he had an awakening and now our conversations became more serious. We learned to talk openly and honestly to each other although we now found ourselves drifting apart somewhat as I attempted to make my way in the world.

Over the years, our relationship had it’s ups and downs (as any relationship is bound to) but we stayed pretty close. His health declined slowly and he became more and more dependent on me. Unfortunately, with a young family of my own, his demands conflicted with the demands of my family and caused much stress for both of us. We had some unforgettable blowouts but through it all we managed to hold on to our love for one another and kept the lines of communication open (for the most part).

On the fateful day when he called me at 4am to ask if I could “drop by” before work to pick him up because he’d fallen and been lying on the floor, unable to move, for two days, we were already out of time. There would be no last minute reconciliation. No chance to make amends for past wrongs. No opportunity for him to pass on some final words of wisdom. No tear-jerking heart-to-heart conversation where I’d pour my heart out over all the bad things I said and did and thought while I was growing up. Nothing.

Thankfully, in addition to our unforgettable blowouts, we’d also had that last minute reconciliation. We’d made amends for past wrongs and talked heart-to-heart about anything and everything. He’d passed on the wisdom of his many years and experiences and there was nothing left unsaid. If I had the chance to tell him just one more thing, it would be a simple “I love you” and even that wouldn’t really be necessary.

So, if there’s any sort of ill will between you and your father. If you haven’t spoken to him in a week, a month, a year. If there’s things you’d like to say but just didn’t feel the time was right. Now is the time to do it. If you leave it too long, you may never get the chance. Just pick up the phone and call him. Or write him a letter. Find some way to connect. And while you’re at it, if you haven’t forgiven him yet for all the bad things that happened (and every one of has bad things that happened), now is the time to do that too. Although I don’t personally know what’s it like, I’m certain that missing the chance to make things right must really hurt. Don’t hurt yourself!

- Dave

Many things happen to us everyday. Some things matter and some things don’t. We live in a messy world and by the very nature of interacting with others we will be exposed to a vast range of experiences. I believe that life brings us situations that give us an opportunity to learn. Now some things that happen in our day to day lives are not about us and are really just neutral events. Sure, our reaction to this things can provide a chance to learn something but I think it’s more important to consider the “big things” that happen.

I’m talking about those situations that evoke strong emotions of some sort. Whether it be happiness, sadness, anger or confusion, if you’re feeling something then you’ve likely encountered a “learning point”. Now the important thing to realize is that when these situations occur, you need to look deeper into it and figure out what you can/should learn from this. This is especially true when the situation does not seem to be unfolding as you planned despite your best efforts. In these cases, it’s quite likely that there’s a lesson you need to learn to move forward in your life and, even if you had some magical guide that told you what the lesson is, you’d still need to experience it, live it to really understand.

So, in an effort to help myself grow and learn in these situations, I’ve been trying the following steps:

1. Examine the situation objectively – put your feelings away for a bit and look at a given situation through the eyes of a neutral observer. Try to consider how it looks to those who are not involved.
2. Explore your feelings – take some time to sit quietly and really consider why you feel the way you do. Is it because things are not going as you’d like them to? Do you carry some underlying belief that is preventing you from seeing the truth?
3. Recognize the opportunity – even if things don’t work out as you’d like them to, every situation is an opportunity for growth. In fact, we often grow faster and stronger from those life events that don’t turn out as we’d like.
4. Accept the lesson – unless you plan on isolating yourself from humanity, you’re going to experience learning points. Keep yourself open to these learning points and embrace the growth that occurs.

Change happens whether we like it or not. Refusing to accept and embrace change leads to a life where you go through the motions but never seem to get anywhere. It’s like a hamster running on a wheel. Always going around, never getting anywhere. Step off the wheel, live a little, accept that you’ll fail or get hurt, pick yourself up and carry on.

Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn – Robert Kiyosaki

- Dave

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

These words are most often attributed to Nelson Mandela in his 1994 Inaugural speech. Apparently they are actually by author Marianne Williamson in her book A Return To Love. Regardless of the source, this wonderful message reminds us that we have within us the power to achieve anything. We merely need to let it loose and give ourselves permission to experience the greatness within.

- Dave

I believe in the supreme worth of the individual and in his right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty.

I believe that the law was made for man and not man for the law; that government is the servant of the people and not their master.

I believe in the dignity of labor, whether with head or hand; that the world owes no man a living but that it owes every man an opportunity to make a living.

I believe that thrift is essential to well ordered living and that economy is a prime requisite of a sound financial structure, whether in government, business or personal affairs.

I believe that truth and justice are fundamental to an enduring social order.

I believe in the sacredness of a promise, that a man’s word should be as good as his bond; that character – not wealth or power or position – is of supreme worth.

I believe that the rendering of useful service is the common duty of mankind and that only in the purifying fire of sacrifice is the dross of selfishness consumed and the greatness of the human soul set free.

I believe in an all-wise and all-loving God, named by whatever name, and that the individual’s highest fulfillment, greatest happiness, and widest usefulness are to be found in living in harmony with His will.

I believe that love is the greatest thing in the world; that it alone can overcome hate; that right can and will triumph over might.

- John D. Rockefeller, Jr.

[Transcribed from The Secret of the Ages by Robert Collier]

I’ve been a member of the Licensed To Speak toastmasters club in district 64 for a good six months and yet I only recently gave my Icebreaker speech (which is the first speech you do in toastmasters). I’m not sure why I waited so long since the topic is easy (yourself) and I regularly speak in various ways as part of my job. However, as easy as this speech should have been, I found it more difficult than expected. I’m not sure if it was because of the topic or because I hadn’t prepared as well as I know I should have but I was nervous. Apparently it didn’t really show except for a bit of “podium tapping” at the beginning. Anyway, what I really found interesting was that I enjoyed the process of writing the speech more than I enjoyed delivering it. Go figure. So, for your enjoyment, here is the full text of the speech:

Dave Witwicki’s Icebreaker Speech

Licensed to Speak Toastmasters

As you probably know, I work in IT. Computers have been a part of my life nearly as far back as I can remember. At times they’ve been on the periphery, a trifling presence without much impact. At other times they’ve been the focus of my life, sometimes to the detriment of those around me. I’m sure we’re all aware that computers are an integral part of life now but I’d like to show you the tune computers have played throughout my life.

Winnipeg has never been a hotbed of technology. As a kid growing up in St. Vital in the 70’s, computers were pretty much non-existent. Still, every song has an opening note and, for me, that note sounded when a good friend of mine called me up one day and told me about this wonderful thing he had. It was an Apple IIe computer and we were both quite intrigued with what this thing could do. We spent hours playing games and then, as young boys of the “nerdy” variety were inclined to do, we started trying to program our own games. My time with the computer was limited and the tune faded until junior high rolled around. In the 80’s, computers were starting to appear here and there and suddenly I had access to an ancient Commodore PET computer. I spent many a lunch hour typing in programs I had devised and then hastily saving them to cassette tape before the next class started. The following year, my school had the good fortune to be selected to participate in a new program whereby the science lab was equipped with enough Commodore Vic-20s so that every student could work on their own machine. After the stodgy green, character-only screen of the PET, the Vic-20 was a treat. Not only could it do real color graphics, but it had sound as well! Suffice to say, I spent even more time playing around with these things. My computer tune was playing strong, sometimes literally.

Then a twist of fate changed the tune substantially. In grade 9, as part of shops class, I took a semester of electronics and I was smitten. For the rest of my time in high school, I devoted myself to learning all I could about electronics. Sure, we had a computer in the form of the class robot but I didn’t pay it much heed being more interested in the flashing lights of the gizmos we built and the crackle of electricity from the Tesla coil we had. Let me tell you, standing at the end of a 5 foot bolt of lightning really gets your pulse racing. Having immersed myself in electronics to the point of working for the school division both over the summer and during the year in various areas, it was only natural that I’d head off to college to further my education and pursue a career in electronics.

It was the end of the 80s when I headed to Red River Community College (as it was known as back then) to pursue Electronics Technology. Well, I was wholly unprepared for the discordant notes that would ring through my life as I was exposed to a whole new world of both electronics and computers. My computer tune which had been playing weakly in the background now surged strongly to the forefront and I found myself switching to Computer Technology after my first year. Not only was the music playing louder than ever, it was becoming richer as I moved both up and down the scale from the PC XT to the fridge-sized VAX/VMS system we used for compiling our code and to microcontrollers like the 6809 which are still used in everyday items like microwaves and cars.

As time progressed, my computer tune became a symphony as I graduated college and moved on to University to continue my soundtrack with Computer Engineering. These bars of the music brought new experiences. In addition to the PC ATs then commonly used, I also experienced the Apple Mac, the MVS/TSO mainframe and, most wondrous of all, the telnet terminals which connected to the internet. The internet was a fascinating place in the early 90s. Although the graphical interface of the web was a few years off yet, there was much to explore in the nooks and crannies of the continent spanning network and many hours were spent fiddling around. Unfortunately, five years of post-secondary education took their toll and I ended up leaving University sans degree due to financial difficulties.

The tune continues though. Entering the workforce with intimate knowledge of various types of computers made it easy to find employment. From the heavy bass notes of the mainframes running the Air Canada reservation system to the light treble notes of automated parking equipment I continued to follow the soundtrack of computers in my life. When the new millennium dawned, computers had become a part of all facets of life. Wanting to be part of the mainstream song again, I made a career change and moved from computer hardware to computer software. Once again I found myself in college but on the other side of the computer fence. As part of the Information Systems Tech course I was in, I did a co-op term [at my current employer] and somehow, managed to stay once I graduated. Eventually I made the transition from term employee to permanent and here I am today. As the millennium has progressed, my computer soundtrack has become lost in the technology tune heard throughout business. That’s okay though, I’ve enjoyed the music computers have played for me over the years and when the tune eventually fades away, I’m sure I’ll catch myself still humming it softly from time to time. Thank you…

- Dave

I’m currently reading Biscuits, Fleas, and Pump Handles and there’s an entire chapter on why you should maintain a positive attitude. Since I’ve been “experimenting” with taking different actions so I can get different results, I decided to see if keeping a positive attitude throughout the day would make things better. First off, let me say that even though it’s only been a couple days, I have to admit that the results have been fantastic! I feel better, I sleep better and everything just seems more enjoyable; even the crap! And let me tell you, I encounter a lot of “crap” during the day. It seems to me that most people are sleepwalking their way through life and even though they may not be consciously negative, their sleepiness tends to drag you down, not build you up. So, I’ve been using a few different methods to keep my attitude positive:

1. Music – this one is a no-brainer for me since I spend a significant portion of my day enjoying music anyway, but it’s definitely helped. Choose music that lifts you up, gets your blood pumping and makes your heart sing (and maybe your mouth too). This is especially helpful during the commute when a bunch of little annoyances can quickly sour your entire day.
2. Smile – keep a smile on your face as much as possible. Not only will your mood improve but people around you will feel a little better too. After all, a smile is even more contagious than the swine flu!
3. Start Great – I spend at least 20 minutes every morning reading motivational books (like the one mentioned above) and it’s been fabulously helpful in getting my day going. Also try to get up with plenty of time to spare. Easing into your day in a relaxed manner starts you off on a positive note.
4. Socialize – take time to have coffee with your friends. Make sure you have a good lunch and get away from your desk (again, with your friends). Too much time alone tends to make you look inward and if you’re in a negative environment, it won’t be long before you’re attitude goes bad.

These are just a few suggestions on gaining and maintaining a positive attitude. I’m sure there are many other methods out there. The key is to find what works for you and stick with it even when things don’t go smoothly. So remember, stay positive and keep smiling!

- Dave

First off, you’ll probably notice that this post is way different than my previous posts. I think I might have mentioned at one point that I planned to start posting technical stuff and whatnot, but that never happened (until now). Basically, I’ve determined that I just can’t be bothered writing “serious” articles on a regular basis. So, instead of beating myself up about it, I’m going to write about whatever catches my attention (just like my tagline says).

I’ve decided that I need to (re)learn ASP.NET. It’s been years since I’ve done any real web development and since I’m expected to know this stuff at work, I probably should. To that end, I’ve developed a learning plan to get me started which I humbly present.

ASP.NET Learning Plan

• Do the ASP.NET QuickStart Tutorial
• Work through book: Microsoft ASP.NET Coding Strategies
• Do the ASP.NET AJAX Tutorial
• Do the ASP.NET 3.5 MVC Tutorial
• Do the LINQ Basics Tutorial
• Do all the W3Schools XML Tutorials
• Do the XSLT Tutorial
• Read the Application Architecture Guide 2.0 (I read the first one a while back and it was worthwhile)
• Brush up on my WSS 3.0 Admin stuff so I can write the certification test
• Brush up on my MOSS 2007 Admin stuff so I can write the certification test

That’s it for starters with ASP.NET. I also have a SharePoint specific Learning Plan but I’ll hold on to that for now because it may change based on what I learn about ASP.NET. I figure it’ll take me two to three months to plow through all this stuff but it should be worth it.

The very first step in all this was to setup my dev environment which I did tonight. I have to admit that I haven’t had this much fun “geekin’ out” in quite some time. Luckily, I already had a previously built virtual image with MOSS 2007 and Visual Studio 2008 installed so I only had to apply recent windows updates, fix the networking and then set up a VPC differencing system so I can have multiple images going without chewing up all my hard drive space.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I plan to write about my adventures as I go along but you never know. I may be too busy “doing” to write about it. 

- Dave